NATSU DRAGNEEL: User Guide and Manual
by FaIIen Angel 128
Summary: Congratulations! You have just purchased your own NATSU DRAGNEEL unit. This manual was created to help you, the owner, avoid severe fines. (Based off of Lollidictator's original manuals for Hetalia units.)


**A/N: I saw this in the Hetalia section. I figured it would be funny to do this in Fairy Tail. Unfortunately, I do not own any of these characters.**

**Natsu Dragneel: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own NATSU DRAGNEEL unit. This manual was written to keep you, the owner, from facing severe property damage fines.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Natsu Dragneel. Will respond to "Natsu" and "Dragneel", although a little bit hostilely towards the latter. Also, he will respond to "Flaming Shithead", "Flame Brain", "Hothead" or anything of that genre, although this will make your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit ready to brawl.

Age: 17. If you want to get technical, then he's 24 due to a seven year time skip in the manufacturing.

Height: 175 centimeters

Weight: 75 kilograms

**Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit comes with the following:**

One (1) gold trimmed black vest

One (1) pair white trousers

One (1) scale-patterned scarf

One (1) thick black wristband

One (1) pair open toed sandals

One (1) HAPPY unit

Five (5) boxes of matches

**Programming**

Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit comes prepped with the following traits:

Friend: However generic this term is, your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit is a very loyal and companionable friend. You could to buy a FAIRY TAIL GUILD STAMP from Customer Service and use it to make your relationship even better.

Athlete: Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit is quite athletic. However, teaching your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit how to play actually play the sport is quite difficult.

Tracker: Because of your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit's sensitive nose, your unit is a very good tracker and hunter. Don't let him catch food though – it'll come back scorched.

**Removal of your NATSU DRAGNEEL Unit from Packaging**

Stand next to the box and say, "Natsu?" in a questioning voice. He will probably open the box himself (watch out for fire) and look for you. This is probably the easiest way to wake him up.

Set something on fire. The makers of your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit are not responsible for property damage fines due to fire or the unit itself.

Start your HAPPY unit. Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will look for a HAPPY unit or a LISANNA STRAUSS unit.

Yell "Flaming Shithead" or "Flame Brain" at him. Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will look for a GRAY FULLBUSTER unit and will be quite agitated.

Use your best female voice to say "Natsu, let's go on this job!" Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will look for a LUCY HEARTFILIA or an ERZA SCARLET unit quite hurriedly.

Use your best female voice to ask, "Natsu? What did you do this time?" Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will curl into a ball and say "Nothing! Gray and I are best friends!" This will automatically put him into his _Scared_ mode.

**Reprograming**

After you successfully get your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit out of his box, you can reprogram him whenever you like.

_Oblivious (default)_

_Fight Prone (default)_

_Overprotective (default) (locked)_

_Destructive_

_Friendly_

_Scared_

_Depressed (locked)_

The NATSU DRAGNEEL unit is one of few units with three default modes. These three modes are _Oblivious, Fight Prone _and _Overprotective._

The_ Oblivious_ mode entails him acting very stupid and, well, oblivious. Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will be confused if you ask him any complicated questions (including any math or science questions) and will be clueless in love.

His _Fight Prone_ mode means that he will often start fights over trivial matters, including insults from GRAY FULLBUSTER units. You can get him out of his _Fight Prone_ mode by putting him with an ERZA SCARLET unit or a LUCY HEARTFILIA unit for a few hours.

Your unit's _Overprotective_ mode is impossible to get him out of. He is incredibly overprotective to all other _**Fairy Tail**_units.

His _Destructive_ mode should be a default mode, however, no unit is allowed to have four default modes. To easily get him out of this, put him with an ERZA SCARLET, LUCY HEARTFILIA or MIRAJANE STRAUSS unit. If you want to go from _Destructive_ to _Scared_, put him with an _Irritated_ ERZA SCARLET or LUCY HEARTFILIA unit. This works best with the ERZA SCARLET unit.

A NATSU DRAGNEEL unit's _Friendly_ mode is actually quite creepy. A _Friendly_ NATSU DRAGNEEL unit has a tendency to break into houses to see LUCY HEARTFILIA units.

In the _Scared_ mode, a NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will cower in a corner, hugging onto the accompanying HAPPY unit or any GRAY FULLBUSTER unit. Most of the time, the _Scared_ mode is achieved by placing your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit with an irritated ERZA SCARLET and/or LUCY HEARTFILIA unit.

The _Depressed _mode is locked due to the NATSU DRAGNEEL unit's tendency to mope and a moping NATSU DRAGNEEL unit is not a good unit.

**Relationships with Other Units**

GRAY FULLBUSTER: Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit has a friends/enemies relationship with a GRAY FULLBUSTER unit. Without an ERZA SCARLET unit around, they are constantly enemies unless under great opposition by one of these units: IVAN DREYAR, ZEREF, MINERVA ORLANDO, or JELLAL FERNANDEZ. They will always be friends when within earshot of any ERZA SCARLET unit.

LUCY HEARTFILIA: Potential love relationship. Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will always protect any LUCY HEARTFILIA unit.

ERZA SCARLET: Be afraid. Very afraid.

MIRAJANE STRAUSS: NATSU DRAGNEEL units seem to be calmed in the presence of MIRAJANE STRAUSS units. However, this is not ever a love relationship.

LISANNA STRAUSS: Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit will often find himself stalked by a LISANNA STRAUSS unit. By default he will accept her affections but be oblivious to higher motives. LISANNA STRAUSS units will find this cute but also be irritated at LUCY HEARTFILIA units.

HAPPY: NATSU DRAGNEEL units often find comfort in the accompanying blue, talking cat.

GAZILLE REDFOX: GAZILLE REDFOX units often find themselves tormented by your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit. Because of GAZILLE REDFOX units' tendency to fight back, the makers of your NATSU DRAGNEEL units are not responsible for resulting law suits.

WENDY MARVELL: NATSU DRAGNEEL units consider themselves big brothers to WENDY MARVELL units.

**Cleaning**

Your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit can clean himself, however a LUCY HEARTFILIA unit is needed to help keep his quarters clean. NATSU DRAGNEEL units do not respond well to bathing with either GRAY FULLBUSTER or ERZA SCARLET units.

**Feeding**

NATSU DRAGNEEL units come with five (5) packs of matches. Use them to help keep NATSU DRAGNEEL units happy – they consume fire. Otherwise, NATSU DRAGNEEL units are perfectly capable of cooking their own food.

**Rest**

This unit sleeps from 9 o'clock to about 7:30 in the morning. He will stay up if necessary – for instance, if doing a flying rotating spherical maze.

**FAQs**

Q: My NATSU DRAGNEEL unit gets sick on all kinds of transportation! What's wrong?

A: All NATSU DRAGNEEL units get sick on any kind of transportation except for included HAPPY units. Also, when in the company of WENDY MARVELL units, NATSU DRAGNEEL units often magically find themselves cured of motion sickness. When accompanied by LUCY HEARTFILIA units NATSU DRAGNEEL units are oddly comforted. This is a bug that the company is striving to fix.

Q: My NATSU DRAGNEEL unit keeps attacking things, saying they're enemies! What should I do?

A: A JUVIA LOCKSER unit has probably tried to seduce a GRAY FULLBUSTER unit. Wait 12 hours. Until then, hide in a dark closet, preferably with no windows.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Instead of a full grown pink-haired NATSU DRAGNEEL unit, you received a little boy with a big white scarf and a dragon egg.

Solution: We sent you a Little-Natsu. This version has a tendency to seek out Little-LISANNA STRAUSS units. This version of your NATSU DRAGNEEL unit is tolerated more by GILDARTS CLIVE units, CANA ALBERONA units, and LUCY HEARTFILIA units will ignore Little-Natsu. If you would like to have a regular NATSU DRAGNEEL unit as opposed to a Little-Natsu unit, please send him in to Customer Services.

**End Notes**

With proper care, NATSU DRAGNEEL units will become great companions. If there are any problems with your unit, contact Customer Services straightaway. Thank you for buying this NATSU DRAGNEEL unit!

**A/N: Please review! Thanks.**


End file.
